Homeowner

I really shouldn't complain about it, but I need to vent. Being a Homeowner has so many advantages. For example, walking around in my skibby's at any hour of the day is HEAVENLY!!! Waking up whenever I want is great!!! Also, deciding when I'm going to clean is great too. Also, nothing beats coming home after work to your own home. There's just something to be said about having your very own sanctuary.

BUT.............doing maintenance on your home SUCKS!!! I'm freakin' sick as a dog the last few days. I have a headache, my throat is buggin', and when I smile too big, it feels like my lips could literally split in half because they are so chapped. On top of this, our tub is leaking. I know this because our floor has two black spots by the tub, which leads us to beleave that our tub is leaking water onto the floor boards under our linoleum. So, today, despite my nasty cold, I have to lay on the bathroom floor, along with who knows what else from little Sammy's trips to the bathroom, and re-caulk our bathtub, so the leaking will stop.

Just for the fact that I have a house to repair, I shouldn't complain. Life could be much, much worse. :)

Sa-weet Website!!!!

When I was a kid, I religiously watched Punky Brewster and Silver Spoons. I remember watching Punky Brewster EVERY day after school. Julie's show as a kid was Little House on the Prairie.

Inevitably, after several great seasons, just about every show will try something in desperation, to bring the ratings back up, and bolster up new watchers.

For any of you out there that watched Happy Days, there was an episode several seasons in, that "The Fonz" was water skiing (in his leather jacket of course),came upon a shark, and jumped over it, while skiing.... Well, needless to say, that's pretty lame. Because of this ridiculous sequence of events in that episode, 40 years later a website has been built, called "Jump the Shark."

Some shows are considered good enough to have never "Jumped the Shark". But most, unfortunately, have fallen victim to ratings desperation. On Silver Spoons, the main character , Ricky Schroder, went through puberty and became "Rick". Punky Brewster however, is considered to have never "jumped". For Julies show, Little House on the Prairie, it jumped when the Ingles moved to the city.

From same character/different actor, to a birth or death, to a new kid in town, many shows eventually fall. If you're curious to see if your childhood show ever "Jumped the Shark", check out this website at:


http://www.jumptheshark.com/index.jspa

Reading

This is what I am privileged to see of Julie, about half of my life - the top 40% of her face. Doesn't this picture look like the Girl From Limberlost? (One of the books Julie read about a week ago). My wifey is reading CONSTANTLY! Sometimes I'll be laying in bed with her, and I'll want to talk with her about something, and she'll tell me to wait until the book is done, because there is only a couple pages left. Well, one day she pulled this on me........so I agreed to give her some space. The next thing I knew, I looked over, and she was into another book already. THE BRAT!!! How can someone do this? When I finish a book, I have to sit and relish in the fact that I've actually read something over 100 pages. I also have to discuss it with someone, because I'm so proud of myself.

At Thanksgiving, Me, Julie, Carrie Minert, and Jeff Minert sat around my parents kitchen table, and discussed books that we've read, and books that we loved or hated. It's funny, because when Julie and Jeff were talking about books they enjoyed, Carrie and I were talking about how difficult it is for us to actually complete a book. It really doesn't matter how good a book is, I'm still going to look at the last page to count how many pages I have left. When I close the book I'm reading for the night, I always look at where the bookmark is at, to gage how much I have left to read. Why is this? Am I missing the point? Is it a Johnson thing to be so inpatient with reading? Maybe it's just a personality thing. When I read, even if I'm entertained, it still feels like somewhat of a chore. Is my imagination not vivid enough to really enjoy the book? Am I a dullard, because I don't get enveloped in a story?

A stand up comedian that I love, Jim Gaffigan, talked about how he was always so proud of himself for finishing a book. He said that he'd find ways to work it into conversations. He also jokes about how "readers" always say in a snooty tone........."the book was much better than the movie". Then he says, "You know what I enjoyed about the movie? No reading". I can totally relate.

I guess Julie finds escape and fun in reading though, like I do in Football and watching sports. I guess, to each his own............

Love ya Julie........ :)

White Elephant

Every year, my work has a "White Elephant" gift exchange. Normally, I get something really cheap and lame. This year, however, I decided to give one lucky co-worker an amazing treat. I've enlarged, autographed and framed the picture to the left. Yeah, I know, it could be too much...........but that's just the kind of guy I am. :)

The Video is working now............See below

My Top 25 Movies of All Time

1. SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
2. GROUNDHOG DAY
3. PEEWEE’S BIG ADVENTURE
4. SANDLOT
5. ROCKY 3
6. ROCKY 4
7. DUMB AND DUMBER
8. OFFICE SPACE
9. TOMMY BOY
10. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
11. JERRY MAGUIRE
12. BACK TO THE FUTURE
13. THE FUGITIVE
14. DIE HARD 1
15. MATRIX
16. FERRIS BUELERS DAY OFF
17. ACE VENTURE – WHEN NATURE CALLS
18. PRINCESS BRIDE
19. LAST SAMURAI
20. NACHO LIBRE
21. CINDERELLA MAN
22. THE ROCK
23. CHRISTMAS STORY
24. SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER.
25. BREWSTERS MILLIONS

Another Hilarious Video (Clean)

Thanksgiving

This week, I thought I'd talk about things I appreciate and love in life. So often, I can tend to complain about things and dwell on the stupid little things that really don't matter, so here's a list of things I love:

I'm so thankful for my wife, Julie. What a beautiful person she is!!!! She is such a blessing in my life. She is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much more than I am deserving.

I'm thankful for Sammy! He is a good kid, and I don't understand how he turned out this way. It must be because of Julie. He makes me want to be a better person.

I'm grateful for a warm, comfortable home. What a blessing it is to have a refuge from everything. On a long day, it is awesome to be able to come home, to a place I can call my own and relax with my family.

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a blessing it is to have guidance in this chaotic world. To have a blueprint for myself and my family to be able to live together forever.

I'm so grateful for humor! It can easily lighten most burdens. Nothing feels better to me than laughing so hard that I cry hysterically. It's not as often as I'd like, but when it happens, I feel like a million bucks!! Anyone that knows me well, knows that I can sometimes act ridiculous..........

I'm so grateful for my family. This Thanksgiving, we had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my family, and Sam had the chance to get to know his cousins a lot better. What a blessing it is to have support from them. Not everyone is shown in these pics, but you get the idea......

I'm also grateful for sports. Some people see this as boring or unnecessary, but I love it! The buzzer-beater, the last second hail-mary, and the bottom of the 9th home run. All awesome!!!

There have been times in my life where things have come into focus - when things are clear, and all of the lame things that I tend to complain about or let consume my thoughts are pushed to the side, and I realize what is really important. I hope that I can be a grateful person more often! It seems that the happier people that I've known are grateful for their blessings and have put the truly important things in the forefront of their lives. I hope I can do this more now and in the future.

Save any room for dessert???

I thought today I would discuss one of my favorite things in life: FOOD! I love food way too much!!! And I don't care. I don't care that I eat my favorite foods until I'm physically ill. I don't care that I drink way too much soft drinks, and I don't care that I'm completely addicted to fast food. Kevin James aptly described the party that he has in his head when he's sitting in a restaurant and he sees the food that he ordered coming his way. THAT IS ME!!!

So, why the obsession? I don't know. I could blame it on the fact that the security my parents put in place over the good food in the house would rival most missile silos. I could blame it on my compulsive personality. But why? Why not just call it as it is...........DEEP LOVE AND ADMIRATION.


So, in honor of my second love today, the first being my wife, I'm going to leave you with a tribute that I made up. If you've ever watched the sound of music, than you'll recognize this. To get the full effect, you need to read below to the tune of "My favorite things". Hope you enjoy!

Sprinkles on cookies and frosting on cupcakes
Hot mashed potato's and big, fat new york steaks
Huge "Secret Santa" plates tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored pudding and warm bear claw strudels
Pasta shells, pickles(dill) and soy sauce with noodles
Good waiters that fly with my order on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Huge bowls of chips with assorted dips and ranches
Family members that stay out of my secret food stashes
Steamed, sweet king crab legs and hot onion rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the pants are tight
When the food bill stings
When the cupboards look sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

www.mattthoughts.gov.www/mattthoughts

If any of you out there are avid fans of the show "The Office", than you would know what the title of this blog means. In short, on the show The Office, there is some really creepy old man, named Creed. He used to be homeless, and is clearly not right in the head. In one episode, Creed mentions that he's totally going to blog his findings about an office romance between Jim and Pam. Ryan mentions that he set up a "blog" on Microsoft Word for Creed, and he titled it: www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Ryan mentioned that even for the Internet, Creeds thoughts were very disturbing. He didn't set up a real blog, because he was truly trying to protect the public. Freakin' funny!!!

I guess I can kind of relate with this. It's amusing to me that disturbed people, like yours truly, can have a medium like a blog, to spread the insanity............ I totally look forward to blogging now and hearing from everyone.

By the way, if you're wondering what that picture at the top of this post is about, that was me when I saw that someone actually visited my blog...........

Well, it's getting late. Gotta go..........

You stay classy Utah County.............

Cow Bell - This is HILARIOUS!

Rocky

Most people can remember "THE" movie of their childhood. For Julie, it was Goonies. She can quote pretty much any line at any point in that movie. When we think back to those movies, nostalgia can roll in, and all can seem right for a moment. Besides Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, I would have to say that Rocky is "THE" movie............my movie. I remember popping in Rocky III into our VCR, between shouts from my Mom to fetch her purse for her, and constantly watching the very beginning of that movie, where Rocky manages to stand up on the 10th count of his epic battle with Apollo Creed, narrowly becoming the Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Agree or disagree with me, but I believe Rocky I through Rocky IV represents everything that's still right in the world. Yes, the Rocky movies rank high in the "cheese factor" ratings, and yes, at times are very unrealistic, but then again, so do the movies "It's a Wonderful Life", "Rudy", and "Neverending Story", but what warm-blooded American can honestly say that any of those aren't beautiful?

Below are my top 7 reasons why Rocky serves as a beacon of hope and stands tall as a guiding light to all who will listen to it's prolific war cry, "Gonna Fly Now":

1. Rocky doesn't win every fight. No, Rocky gets the crap beat out of him on different occasions. But he keeps coming back for more, never to give up.

2. Rocky is as dumb as a bag of hammers. HOWEVER...............he still succeeds because he has surrounded himself with people who care about him and love him.

3. SPOILER ALERT!!!! In Rocky IV, Rocky beats the crap out of Ivan Drago, a Russian. What is better than to see this perfect symbol of communism get it handed to him on a platter?

4. Rocky wears red, white, and blue shorts. Very patriotic.

5. Rocky is married, and he is faithful to his loving, yet very awkward wife.

6. There are hilarious one liners all through the Rocky movies, such as, "When I'm done with you, you're going to eat lightning and crap thunder!!!"

7. He's always the underdog. Who doesn't root for the underdog, especially when they're severely mentally handi-capped, like Rocky?


ALL HAIL ROCKY BALBOA!!!

Who doesn't completely love popping in their own personal timeless classic into the vcr or dvd player to allow themselves an hour and a half of nostalgic bliss and relaxation?

Well, until next time.............Good night, and stay classy Utah County.