Tuesday's

Every Tuesday night, Julie has to go work at the American Fork Rec. Center for about 3 hours. She gets paid almost nothing for this work. I think that's what makes it so crappy that she has to go and work. We are getting almost no reward for not having a wife or mother here on Tuesday nights. Unfortunately, we think its probably necessary that she keeps the job with the Rec., because when Julie's "real" job is over, come summertime, it will be nice to have another job to fall back on when that one is put on hold for the summer.

So for now, every Tuesday, Sam and I stare at each other for about 3 hours while Julie is gone. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had a job that forced me to travel on a regular basis or what it would be like to be in the military. I miss my wifey. I'm a stinkin' weakling...........

Happiness

A while back, I was listening to a guy on the radio. He was talking about things that make us happy. He made some funny comments about how seeing your neighbor fall of his roof makes a man happy. It makes a man happy because he's glad it wasn't him that fell off the roof. I thought that was hilarious!

Well, I didn't see anyone fall of the roof today, but I did get a hair cut. What is it about getting a hair cut that makes you feel so dang good?!!! Seriously, when I have my nails cut short, my face shaved, a new hair cut, and a shower - things are PERFECT! Does it get any better than this? That's what Heaven will be for me...........a brand new hair cut (that lasts forever), clean shaven, showered, watching a movie with the family, with a huge platter of crab legs sitting in front of me.

Check out my new trim..........

mmm mmm MMMMMMM!!!!!

Ok, this picture doesn't really do the real thing justice. Chili's has a new burger out, with bacon as thick as a small paperback book, and a huge patty. Why am I telling you about this??? Because this burger changed my life!

On Friday night, I was at the local Chili's in American Fork, completely unaware and oblivious of the fact that my life was about to change FOREVER. I ordered the Southern Smokehouse Bacon Big Mouth Burger. Then, instead of having the usual fries for my side, I decided to substitute in some grilled mushrooms and peppers. I piled the side onto my burger, and poured ranch and bbq sauce all over it. This burger transcended all expectation and all reason in my mind. I couldn't even process how good this was.............I nearly had a stroke with joy.

For any of you reading this blog...........GO! Stop reading, and make way to your local Chili's.

Issues

Ok, so by now most of you know I have issues.................Like I mentioned in my last blog- I have to wash my hands entirely too much. In Julie's blog, she talked about how I literally made myself sick with worry when looking at "The World's 10 Deadliest Insects" book the other day. Also, have I mentioned the fact that randomly my muscles shrivel up like an old man in a freezing cold shower............???? Yeah..........I'm not sure why, but I get cramps in my right hand almost daily. Randomly, the side of my right hand will just suck in until you can literally see a dent in my hand. It's pretty gross. Also, the other day, I was kneeling down for family prayer and I got a cramp in the back of one of my thighs, so I shot up to my feet to fight the cramp, but the cramping spread to my other leg also, and then to the front of my legs as well. So, both of my legs, front and back were all cramped up............I felt like a complete dork trying to balance on these two legs of mine that were clenched so tight that it felt like I was on two stilts. After this episode, I rushed over to our fruit bowl and totally gormandized two bananas.

So, I'm thinking that these cramping episodes can only be one thing. I really don't drink water. My liquid sustenance pretty much consists of Dr. Pepper and some other soft drinks. I figure that these sodas are like 70% water, right? That's not bad, right??? I do drink a little water during my morning ritual before I leave for work, and then as I go to bed at night, I'll swig a little water before retiring to bed.

I have to say though, that after the leg cramps the other day, I've made more of an effort to drink water, and I force down bananas when I can to help my body with a little potassium. I really don't enjoy water that much, unless it's freezing cold. Oh yeah, have I mentioned that when I eat banana's, sometimes I'll get this weird tingling sensation in my eyes. I think I might literally be allergic to bananas. Maybe I'm allergic to healthy food. For any of you that have seen Back to the Future, there's a part at the end where Doc is throwing a banana peel and some beer into his Delorean to help it run. Why can't my body be like that? It pretty much already is, but I guess these random cramps are my body's way of telling me to shape up, or at least do a better job at treating it right. Maybe I should listen a little closer...............

Enough Already!!!

Ok. I'm going to say it. I freakin' hate winter. Is it just me, or have we been in the middle of a storm now for about 10 months??? This morning I went out to my car to leave for work. It's bad enough that I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn, while it's still dark, to get ready for work. But, I have to go out into the frozen tundra in front of our townhome, and scrape away sheets of thick ice from my car. Anyone that knows me well, knows that it takes about 150 gallons of water to clean my body, and get me through my daily rituals of getting ready for the day. First, I wake up, relieve myself, and wash my hands. Then I spray water all over my clothes before I throw them into the dryer. This serves as my iron. (My clothes look like I've pulled all of them out from under one of our couch cushions before I "iron" them in the morning, because we have two considerably sized mountains of clothes that sit behind our couch constantly). Then, I brush my teeth. Then, I jump in the shower. Then I get out, put on some of my clothes, and then I wash my hands again. (This is because I've thought about it, and your hands aren't clean when you get out of the shower. Say what you want, but your hands are in gross places while in the shower). Then, I get fully dressed, and head down stairs. I will soak my hands and rub my face several times until my face is completly wet. I don't know why, but I find this very refreshing. Once my face is wet, I will get my hair completely wet again, so I can style my hair into it's irresistable "George Clooney" look. So............after I've basically taken two showers and washed my hands two or three times, I will trudge out into the tundra to scrape off my car. Needless to say, this is not fun, and very cold. I freakin' hate it.
So, my question is, when is it going to warm up again? When will I be able to walk out and get the mail again, without feeling the need to all out sprint to my mailbox because of sheer survival skills kicking in??? Will I ever be able to use my barbecue again? What does the sun really feel like? One day I'll know.....until then, I guess I'll just have to tell stories of what the sun was like to Sam....

Monday

Mondy will be a sad, sad day. It marks the end of a beautifull season. As many of you know, the Superbowl will be played on Sunday night. Even though this game has two teams that most people couldn't care less about, it's still the biggest game of the year in American sports, by far!

Come Monday, football will be gone for another 7 months. The anticipation gets so great in August when Football is coming back. Can any of you imagine what it would be like to have a hobby or love that you were forced to go without for over 200 days of every year??? It's not cool.

So.........don't worry about me wearing black over the next month. I'll get over this, like I am forced to do, every year.