Shark Week

As many of you probably know, the Discovery channel is having "Shark Week" this week. For a solid week, the Discovery Channel will air nothing but shows having to do with sharks. I really like it. I think sharks are fascinating.

The thought occurred to me the other day though - how come we never see a baby Great White Shark? All of the footage is of these monster sharks tearing through meat in the water and reeking havoc. But, you never see a little cute shark, with little razor blade teeth hanging out of its bottom jaw. Why? I think I may have heard once that great white baby sightings were rare.

So, I did a little research, to figure why we never hear of a Great White baby, and I've found out that Great Whites are the devil! Seriously. I used to think that snakes were up there, as the most despicable, disgusting creatures, but now the snake has competition.

I went to wikipedia.org, and I read up on the great white. GET THIS......it says, "Almost nothing, however, is known about how and where the great white mates. There is some evidence that points to the near-soporific effect resulting from a large feast (such as a whale carcass) possibly induce mating." So, in other words, it takes feasting on a carcass the size of a school bus to get a shark in the mood. That's sick!!! These animals are screwed up! Plus, it says that they don't know for sure, but some believe that great whites live to be past 100 years old. Yeah............it's because they've sold their souls!!! Also, with a great white shark, the way the pregancy goes is, there can be up to 40 eggs that hatch inside of the mother. However, only one is actually birthed, because they all end up eating each other, until eventually the strongest is left! SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!

I remember, when I was a kid, I totally loved the movie Jaws. Even though it totally messed with my head whenever I got in the ocean, I still loved that movie. There's one part in Jaws, where the crazy fisherman talks about how he was on the U.S.S. Indianapolis. For those of you who don't know, the U.S.S. Indianapolis was sunk, and 900 sailors were stranded in the water, to wait for rescue. Well, while they waited, I guess sharks just had a hay day on all that live bait. Only 316 sailors were rescued. So, in the movie, the crazy fisherman says, "And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then..."

That description is so crazy. I'm convinced, even though they are totally fascinating, great white sharks are the devil.........

Depressed

I just came to a realization. My next stretch of vacation isn't going to come for 5 months. That's 150 days! How did I do this to myself. I have one vacation day, and the day after Thanksgiving planned, to take off. But other than that, I'm going to have to wait until the end of December to have a week off. For the first time in like 9 years, I have planned to take the week of Christmas off, for vacation. But, how am I to get through that huge stretch? How did I oversee this huge stretch? Well, when Christmas comes around, I will probably be grateful, but until then, things could get rough!!!!

What is the matter with people?!!!

Ok, this is a crazy, long rant............but it needs to happen..............

Honestly, who goes to a movie, opening night, to talk to their boyfriend???? Who goes to a movie early, and sits quietly waiting in their seat, only to start diving into food and candy, as soon as their movie starts? Who goes to a movie, with a huge box of Mike & Ike's, and decides that they only like the green kind, so they continue to poor mike and ikes into their hand, pick out the ones they like, and individually drop each candy back into their box, only to repeat this same process over, and over, and over????

I'll tell you who..........it was the moron girl, next to me, in the Dark Knight movie, this weekend. I'm so fed up with idiots. Where do these people come from? It's like their attracted to large groups of people, and they must be where everyone else is. I have a theory............I think movie theatres are like a bug lamp. Every living idiot within a 20 mile radius is attracted to the beautiful bright lights of a movie screen, and they somehow manage to operate a vehicle all the way to that big movie building..........where they can be lulled into an even deeper stupor..........

Also, a couple of weeks ago, me and Pete were in the movie Hancock. Well, the movie fades to black, and a few credits come up. But, about 10 seconds later, a final scene cuts in. Well, the people in front of us were standing and watching the screen. Obviously, since they were standing, we couldn't see. So, Peter says, "sit down". That's it. That's all he said. "Sit down". Because, we deserve to see the movie, right? I guess not. The guy in front of us was freakin' peeved, and he called Pete a couple R rated remarks, and walked off. Why is it Pete's fault that he wanted to see all of the movie he paid for?

I think the normal people in America need to stand up, and fight back!!! Every once in a while, an email will be sent out, about all of the funny warnings on consumer products. A lot of them seem so obvious, that they seem ridiculous or insulting. Like, "Don't use this blow-dryer in the bath tub", a toilet brush that says, "Do not use for personal hygiene", A scooter with the warning "This product moves when used.", A digital thermometer with the advice "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.", An electric blender used for chopping and dicing that reminds users to "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating." But do you know why these warning labels came to be? IDIOTS!!!!! They are every where. In the days of ancient Greece, they actually had classes on "Common Sense". It's time these classes are reinstituted.



Here are some common sense rules that should be obeyed, and that should be posted at the entrance of every theater. And, maybe they should have them depicted with really easy to understand pictures as well:

1. If a movie is rated PG-13 or stronger, absolutely no babies should be brought in. PERIOD.

2. No cell phones. Don't even pull them out, even if they are on "silent". Cell phones emit something called "light", and this may be distracting for people that came to watch a movie, not to text.

3. After the previews are over, NO TALKING. Not even if you want to tell your boyfriend that you need to get more hair spray at Wal-Mart after the movie.

4. No wiping your buttery popcorn hands off on other peoples legs. (This seems ludicrous, but it's happened to Julie).

5. No chewing gum, with your mouth gaped open.

6. No yelling at the screen. We understand that for people of lower intelligence, that this can be almost impossible not to do, when you are riled up and your emotions are high, but please refrain.

7. No sleeping. If you are too tired to watch a movie, stay home. People shouldn't have to listen to you snore while they are at the movies.

8. No making out. For you wt out there, this is why the cd section at Wal-Mart was invented.

9. No hyena laughing. If you have a laugh that would scare away an angry moose, rent a movie at Blockbuster.

10. No fire crackers or fire works are to be lit during movie. (This will eventually happen to one of us............mark my words).


So, what do you say? Are these requests unreasonable?

Memory Tag

I got this idea from Julie's blog, and thought it sounded like fun.
1. Add a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses.
If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Movie Review

On the weekend of the 4th of July, Julie and Sam went to Reno to see her niece get baptized. I stayed behind to do stuff with my fam. So, all weekend I had complete freedom to do whatever, whenever I wanted.

So, what did I end up doing? Well, the first thing, obviously, was I went to Tucano's. Tucano's is by far the best restaurant in Utah, maybe even planet earth. After that, Peter (Julie's Brother) and I, went to see a bunch of movies. We saw Hancock, Wanted, Hulk, Kung Fu Panda, and Love Guru. It was great.

I was just thinking, since I've seen so much stuff in the theatre, which never happens, that I should review a couple of these flicks, and maybe grade them. Please know, that I am somewhat of a hard person to please, when it comes to movies. Action movies need to be stellar, for me to appreciate them, and I almost never like animated movies. So, here goes:



Hancock (A-) - This was a totally entertaining movie. For some reason, Will Smith bugs me, because he is always playing a guy who is either saving the world, or beating all odds. He never plays a realistic role. I wasn't expecting much from this one, so I think, since I went in with low expectations, that I was pleasantly surprised. I find that when I go into a movie with very high expectations, that I'm usually let down in a major way. Hancock was hilarious. It did drop a couple f-bombs though. Since almost every movie must contain a twist now, Hancock had a pretty big one in the middle. I did kind of see some of it coming, but it was a good twist. I've heard that with Hancock's twist, that you either like it or you hate it. I really liked it. The end wrapped up nicely, and you walk away feeling pretty good.



Wanted (D-) - This movie was a giant fart in the face. I couldn't believe what an insult this movie was, from beginning to end. Seriously, when this movie ended, I looked over to Pete, in awe, at how ridiculous it was, and hoping that he thought it was as horrendous as I did. Thankfully, he completely agreed. SPOILER ALERT.................DON'T READ ON, IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING THIS MOVIE (though, I really hope you won't waste your time and money, after I've bashed this movie up and down). The movie is about a normal guy, that gets trained to be an assassin. He has a pathetic life. He works in a cubicle all day, and is shouted at by his nasty boss all day. The only reason why this movie didn't get an F- is because, it had a cool scene where the guy completely tells of his boss, in great fashion. At the end, the main character decides he's going to break into the combine that houses the fraternity of assassins, and kill them all, by himself. So, how does he do it? Rats. Yeah, that's right, freakin' rats! He goes to a grocery store and buys a ton of peanut butter, to attract the rats. Then he attaches an explosive to thousands and thousands of rats. So, he breaks in, releases the rats, and they help him with his job of taking out all of the assassins. At the end of the movie (which should have been called "Curving Bullet", because I swear, they took the idea of making your bullet curve to the extreme), Angelina Jolie curves a bullet around a circular room, and it hits like 15 guys right in the temple as the bullet continues to curve around the room, never slowing down. It was laughable. I can't believe movies like this even exist. I guess, there will always be 13 year old boys that will eat this stuff up, but as for me, I thought it was mind numbing.



The Love Guru (B+) - This movie had some amazing one liners. It really kept me, Pete, and Julie's cousin Dave laughing almost the whole time. This movie had already been out for a few weeks when we went to see it, so there was only about 10 people in the theatre when we saw it. We were laughing so loud and hard at one point, I thought we might get yelled at. Since this is a Mike Meyers movie, there is a lot of crude humor. Over all though, the plot and one liners make this movie pretty good.

This weekend, I will be going on a "birthday date" with Julie. We will be seeing Batman-The Dark Knight. I'm really looking forward to this one.

Just 48 Days!

For the past 100 days or so, the sporting world has been lacking. Yes, I had the Jazz season to watch, but for so long, I've had to endure a world without football. I log onto espn.com now, and there is almost nothing to look at. The NBA season is done, and all that is left is major league baseball. Don't get me wrong, I can get into post season baseball. But, the regular season is just way too long. The baseball season is over 150 games long!!! So, tell me.....how can any person get interested in a single regular season baseball game???? I mean, you can watch it, and if your team loses, you can just say, well, there's always another 150 more games to try and win. It's lame.

I do have one thing to tie me over for the next month and a half. The summer olympics in Bejing begin in about a month. I love the Summer Olympics!!! Gymnastics, swimming, and track & field can be way cool. It doesn't get much better than cheering for your country to take out some communist country in a competitive event. This year, it should be cool to see Phelps win some more Gold Medals in swimming, for the US of A.

But football! Aww, football. It's the perfect sport. The season is just 16 games long. That means, that each and every week is a completely win or die situation. And you can see it on the field. In sports like baseball or basketball, many players can take a game off. But with football, players can't afford to take too much time off. Every play, players are sacrificing their bodies and pushing their bodies to the limit! It's great.

So, in just 48 days, the sporting world will be beautiful again. The 49ers start another season, and BYU begins a season, where many experts are expecting them to crash the BCS party. Things should be very interesting this season. Bring on the pig skin!!!